It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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