You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My vagina is very pro this idea
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize