im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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