Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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