I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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