pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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