im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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