Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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