apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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