they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
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currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
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