so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize