I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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