Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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