What a fucking waste of an outfit
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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