I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize