She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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