saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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