he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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