He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
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The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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