Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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