You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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