Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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