I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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