At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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