He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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