it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize