in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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