it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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