everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize