yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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