at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize