So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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