omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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