Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize