My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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