Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize