i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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