Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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