This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize