were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He literally asked permission to hit on me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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