Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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