I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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