were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize