I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize