Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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