His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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