The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just gargled with NyQuil
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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