I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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