I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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