I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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